Changer De Vie

If your mindset changes, your attitude is gonna change;

If your attitude changes, your habit is gonna change;

If your habit changes, your personality is gonna change;

If your personality changes, your life is gonna change,

your character decided you future the fate.

I got to fight for every dream---
Go where-ever I want to go,
Do whatever I like to do,
because we only have one life.

An Unforgetable Moving Experience

No one doubts that parents are considered the most selfless one in the world. They help you , train you, support you and bring you up without any reason. They do as hard as they can to enhance your life. I deeply understood this when I found out that I made a mistake shouldn’t of made.

In my memory 2005 winter was one of the coldest winter I ever had. On that day, the wind was blowing hard, the trees swaying like they were dancing. Outside the house snowstorm was so harsh and cold, I almost had a feeling that my face was going to be tear apart if I standing outside. It rained so hard that you hear those splattering against the glass. You would of thought that the weather outside was brutally cold but the inside feeling of my family was even colder than the temperature. Because my daddy got badly sick in this winter, he couldn’t walk, couldn’t go out, and sometimes couldn’t think. We didn’t know the exactly the state of his illness, but the only think we could do was that keep giving him traditional Chinese medicine to make inside of his body warm. During this time my family was living in the most fear day on lives because my dad is the only person who is bring the financial support to our whole family, and if the worst the happen, I believed that my family would fall apart.

On this day, I was working in the restaurant; my mom was cooking the Chinese traditional medicine for my daddy at home. She called me and asked me to bring ginger home when we got off the job. I didn’t take serious about her request, and I didn’t believe my dad’s traditional medicine wouldn’t work without ginger. Therefore I forgot about it. When I got home, I knew I made a big mistake because of my careless. My sister blamed me that I am the one only care about myself. However, my mom didn’t say anything, she ran out t our store, (all my family members couldn’t drive at that time, and it takes about 20 minutes from my house to my store) all of the sudden, I really regretted it. I knew how badly outside the weather was, I could imagine how difficult to walk in a snowstorm, and I could also imagine how did my mom look like to walk in a snowstorm. It must be exhausting, chilly, and fear. I realized that I was a selfish, childish and careless person from this moving experience.

This was an unforgettable event in my life which was emotionally moving. It mentions me that I must treat them with care, trust, and patient. I can not look their love for granted they would always be so. The only way to pay back for their love is to love them.

A Scare Day

At about 3pm, I was still working in the school library. I heard lots of people said that there were 2 guys in our school with rifel. The whole university got shock by this. The fact was that there was a guy with rifel in a bag and wear a mask was apprenhended on our school. University pubic safety officers quickly disarmed the suspect and have turned him over to the NYPD. No injuries have occurred as a result of this incident. But there was still one of his partner couldnt find. One of my friends told me that this guy was right behind her and pushed her when the public safety officer was trying to catch him. She got so scared and almost crying. At this time, the NYPD and conducting an extensive and thorough search of all building and facilities. All students have been locked in the building until further notice. During this time, lots of my friends and family members got even more scared than me. They called me again and again to see what was going on, especially my mom. She almost cried and she asked me to stay in my friends's dorm tonight, she wouldnt let me take a bus to flushing. Many of my friends heard the news and called me to make sure i am safe. I think this was a emotion moving experience in my life. From this episode, I knew there are lots of people in my life care about me so much. I am not worried about anything now.

New Challenges in my life

My body got overdrawn when school started.

This year, I told my parents that I wanna to be independence. They dont need to pay my heavy tuition and daily supplies. Also I will handle all my problems by myself. This is one of the reason why I go to college, and also it's one of the lesson in the college. They finally compromised and then I moved out.

First of all, I felt like I was granted my freedom. I hang out with my friends everyday, buy whatever I want, and sleep whenever I want. My life seems brilliant. However, time reveals the problems. The challenges I have never worried about come to my life. I dont know how to arrange my time, I dont know how to make a shortcut to take a bus to go to school, I dont know how to control spending my money, and sometimes I dont know how to get alone with my roommate. Sometimes I eat once a day, sometime 4 times a day, and sometime none at all. AS winter is coming up, I dont even bring my warm clothes. That's how my body got overdrawn.

I dont tell anything to my parents, even when i had bad stomachache at night. Starting confused. I dont know it's whether good or bad, right or wrong. Do I really learn anything from these challenges? It's the transition to get independence, or the way of my life getting down?

It's time to rearrange my life. I dont want my parents got disoppinted at me as they trust me so much. I dont want my GPA gets lower as they did so much to me. And I dont want to lose my distination as I spent lots of hard time on my study before.

My Lovely Hometown

My picturesque and green hometown is located under the famous mountain called Qing Zhi Mountain. It is small, beautiful and quiet with a proprietary fresh air. You can see the rice paddy everywhere in my villege. Looking at them is like looking at a beautiful painting, and it will make you satisfied, relax, and unpressured. That place where someone know your parents, grandparents, connections that somehow validate you existence. It's also where you dont need to lock your door when u go out. People are nice, kind, rusticity, enthusiastic and sometimes loud.

I remember when i was young, a lot of buddys and i went to cought fishes in the small river, we picked the fresh mango, lechee, and loquat from the trees. We carbonadoed the sweet potatoes in the rice paddy, and cought the butterfries during the daytime in the summer and cought firefly in the summer night. etc.

These are all my precious memories in my life. Right, They are the memories forever. I would never have the same feeling as before, I would never smell the fresh air in the spring and the straw in the summer. Because tjere a lot of small rivers were disappeared, lots of rice paddy has replaced to the big buildings, and lots of trees had been cut. However, I am indeed happy to be born and brought up in my nature beauty hometown.

who am I

there are a lot of people who have said that it is hard to understand yourself. i agree with them somehow. i am quiet, sane, obliging, and placid. there are my good opinions from others. maybe it is because of my vanity, i always show my positive side to others. however, i am crazy sometimes. i drink with my friends until the next day morning, i yell to my younger sisters, i drive without permit and license, and i am selfish sometimes. but i dont like to show my negative sides to others. moreover, i value commitment, inner qualities, scholarship, honesty, and kindness. these are hard and ture fact, but there is a lot i dont know about myself. i dont know how i feel about abortion; and i have mixed feelings about religion and American politics. it's hard for me to give a comprehensive proclamation of who i am, for my identity unfolds more everyday as my experiences grow. since i am 21, life has a lot of unfolding to do.

I dislike saying"i am trying to fine myself" because my identity is not lost, it just needs more uncovering. i found my identity from the mistakes i have made. It's also the good way of self-reflection. some people complain to someone else when they make a mistake, but finally they will fine out the most faults were form themselves.

My parents and I always had trouble to communicate with each other before i wnet to college. They controlled me a lot. They didnt like me to talk with boys, they didnrt want me to dress sexy, and sometimes they even looked at my dairy. I always thought they didnt do the right things what they beyond to do. So i started not to talj to them, i didnt want to go to the restrarant to help them, and sometimes i didnt even want to see them. When i attended the college, they give me lots of free time, and gave me chances to make choice. However, they work in the restaurant wothout a off day. Finally, I found out how selfish i was. I was wedded to my own opinion and nothing could change me.

everyday my experience and knowledge was enhanced and i learn more about myself. I am not worried about that I dont know everything about myself, as i get older, i will figure it out.

Find happiness when I change to new Experiences

I fine happiness when I change to new experiences. Lots of new performances went on from late March, such as had dinner in friends' apartment as well as made new friends, BBQ, and group meeting with my old friends from elementary school, etc. They were the wonderful new experiences, and I gained tremendous benefits from them.

First of all, I was invited by my classmates to have a dinner, because they just moved to the new apartment, and they wanted to make more friends in the United States(they are all international students). We went to Chinese Supermarket bought some foods, then we cooked by ourselves. as soon all of our classmates came, we had all our delicious food already. During the dinner, we talked about our different country's tranditions and habbies. It was really interesting and funny. Afrer the dinner, we played a game called true or dare, which was recommoned by me, hehe. I taught them how to play(basically it is about the person who was been chose whether to answer people's tough question or you choose to act some crazy behavior). Everyone was extraordinary happy and excited. Dispite we were in same class for about one semester, we don't even know the name of them. From this experience, we knew each other so much, and became close friends.

Secondary, another great experience was BBQ. We were invited by our classmate named Nancy. Here I want to strongly introcude my friend Nancy. I don't know how old is she, but she told me that she has 6 grandchildren. Everybody asked her why does she still go to school, it is unusual. her answer inpressed me:"is it better stay at home, face the wall? or is it better go to school learn some new stuffs?" Chinese people always say:"it is never too old to learn". She demonsrates this point. At her house, we were intensive felt that Nancy has such a perfect family. We were keenly envy. From this experience, I promised to myself, If I have chance, I will make my life as perfect as Nancy, and make my mind as young as her when I get old.

The third important experience was that I had a group meeting with my elementary school friends. I havn't seen them until I graduated from elementary school. Luckily we still connect with each other often. When I saw them, everything looks different. Their face looks different, their mind looks different, especially their behaviors are so different. We talked about our foolish behaviors when we were little, and we talked about our plans and future. One of my friends showed us the pictures we took when we were little, it was really funny and cute. We didn't do lots things, but we all felt so exhilarated, I dont know why, just happy.

I fine happiness because I enhance myself everyday and I dont feel like I waste time. Changing is like an enzyme that make you to be more mature. All the changes, good or bad, are the good chances for human to reflect upon the past and meditate upon the present and envision about the future. I believe I can have a smooth shift given I am a person with aspirations, and I commitment will be chastened from the experiences. I am also able to navigate, to steer, to receive and to give on my journey ahead, and have an enjoyable time with the new people and new environment.