An Unforgetable Moving Experience

No one doubts that parents are considered the most selfless one in the world. They help you , train you, support you and bring you up without any reason. They do as hard as they can to enhance your life. I deeply understood this when I found out that I made a mistake shouldn’t of made.

In my memory 2005 winter was one of the coldest winter I ever had. On that day, the wind was blowing hard, the trees swaying like they were dancing. Outside the house snowstorm was so harsh and cold, I almost had a feeling that my face was going to be tear apart if I standing outside. It rained so hard that you hear those splattering against the glass. You would of thought that the weather outside was brutally cold but the inside feeling of my family was even colder than the temperature. Because my daddy got badly sick in this winter, he couldn’t walk, couldn’t go out, and sometimes couldn’t think. We didn’t know the exactly the state of his illness, but the only think we could do was that keep giving him traditional Chinese medicine to make inside of his body warm. During this time my family was living in the most fear day on lives because my dad is the only person who is bring the financial support to our whole family, and if the worst the happen, I believed that my family would fall apart.

On this day, I was working in the restaurant; my mom was cooking the Chinese traditional medicine for my daddy at home. She called me and asked me to bring ginger home when we got off the job. I didn’t take serious about her request, and I didn’t believe my dad’s traditional medicine wouldn’t work without ginger. Therefore I forgot about it. When I got home, I knew I made a big mistake because of my careless. My sister blamed me that I am the one only care about myself. However, my mom didn’t say anything, she ran out t our store, (all my family members couldn’t drive at that time, and it takes about 20 minutes from my house to my store) all of the sudden, I really regretted it. I knew how badly outside the weather was, I could imagine how difficult to walk in a snowstorm, and I could also imagine how did my mom look like to walk in a snowstorm. It must be exhausting, chilly, and fear. I realized that I was a selfish, childish and careless person from this moving experience.

This was an unforgettable event in my life which was emotionally moving. It mentions me that I must treat them with care, trust, and patient. I can not look their love for granted they would always be so. The only way to pay back for their love is to love them.

A Scare Day

At about 3pm, I was still working in the school library. I heard lots of people said that there were 2 guys in our school with rifel. The whole university got shock by this. The fact was that there was a guy with rifel in a bag and wear a mask was apprenhended on our school. University pubic safety officers quickly disarmed the suspect and have turned him over to the NYPD. No injuries have occurred as a result of this incident. But there was still one of his partner couldnt find. One of my friends told me that this guy was right behind her and pushed her when the public safety officer was trying to catch him. She got so scared and almost crying. At this time, the NYPD and conducting an extensive and thorough search of all building and facilities. All students have been locked in the building until further notice. During this time, lots of my friends and family members got even more scared than me. They called me again and again to see what was going on, especially my mom. She almost cried and she asked me to stay in my friends's dorm tonight, she wouldnt let me take a bus to flushing. Many of my friends heard the news and called me to make sure i am safe. I think this was a emotion moving experience in my life. From this episode, I knew there are lots of people in my life care about me so much. I am not worried about anything now.

New Challenges in my life

My body got overdrawn when school started.

This year, I told my parents that I wanna to be independence. They dont need to pay my heavy tuition and daily supplies. Also I will handle all my problems by myself. This is one of the reason why I go to college, and also it's one of the lesson in the college. They finally compromised and then I moved out.

First of all, I felt like I was granted my freedom. I hang out with my friends everyday, buy whatever I want, and sleep whenever I want. My life seems brilliant. However, time reveals the problems. The challenges I have never worried about come to my life. I dont know how to arrange my time, I dont know how to make a shortcut to take a bus to go to school, I dont know how to control spending my money, and sometimes I dont know how to get alone with my roommate. Sometimes I eat once a day, sometime 4 times a day, and sometime none at all. AS winter is coming up, I dont even bring my warm clothes. That's how my body got overdrawn.

I dont tell anything to my parents, even when i had bad stomachache at night. Starting confused. I dont know it's whether good or bad, right or wrong. Do I really learn anything from these challenges? It's the transition to get independence, or the way of my life getting down?

It's time to rearrange my life. I dont want my parents got disoppinted at me as they trust me so much. I dont want my GPA gets lower as they did so much to me. And I dont want to lose my distination as I spent lots of hard time on my study before.

My Lovely Hometown

My picturesque and green hometown is located under the famous mountain called Qing Zhi Mountain. It is small, beautiful and quiet with a proprietary fresh air. You can see the rice paddy everywhere in my villege. Looking at them is like looking at a beautiful painting, and it will make you satisfied, relax, and unpressured. That place where someone know your parents, grandparents, connections that somehow validate you existence. It's also where you dont need to lock your door when u go out. People are nice, kind, rusticity, enthusiastic and sometimes loud.

I remember when i was young, a lot of buddys and i went to cought fishes in the small river, we picked the fresh mango, lechee, and loquat from the trees. We carbonadoed the sweet potatoes in the rice paddy, and cought the butterfries during the daytime in the summer and cought firefly in the summer night. etc.

These are all my precious memories in my life. Right, They are the memories forever. I would never have the same feeling as before, I would never smell the fresh air in the spring and the straw in the summer. Because tjere a lot of small rivers were disappeared, lots of rice paddy has replaced to the big buildings, and lots of trees had been cut. However, I am indeed happy to be born and brought up in my nature beauty hometown.

who am I

there are a lot of people who have said that it is hard to understand yourself. i agree with them somehow. i am quiet, sane, obliging, and placid. there are my good opinions from others. maybe it is because of my vanity, i always show my positive side to others. however, i am crazy sometimes. i drink with my friends until the next day morning, i yell to my younger sisters, i drive without permit and license, and i am selfish sometimes. but i dont like to show my negative sides to others. moreover, i value commitment, inner qualities, scholarship, honesty, and kindness. these are hard and ture fact, but there is a lot i dont know about myself. i dont know how i feel about abortion; and i have mixed feelings about religion and American politics. it's hard for me to give a comprehensive proclamation of who i am, for my identity unfolds more everyday as my experiences grow. since i am 21, life has a lot of unfolding to do.

I dislike saying"i am trying to fine myself" because my identity is not lost, it just needs more uncovering. i found my identity from the mistakes i have made. It's also the good way of self-reflection. some people complain to someone else when they make a mistake, but finally they will fine out the most faults were form themselves.

My parents and I always had trouble to communicate with each other before i wnet to college. They controlled me a lot. They didnt like me to talk with boys, they didnrt want me to dress sexy, and sometimes they even looked at my dairy. I always thought they didnt do the right things what they beyond to do. So i started not to talj to them, i didnt want to go to the restrarant to help them, and sometimes i didnt even want to see them. When i attended the college, they give me lots of free time, and gave me chances to make choice. However, they work in the restaurant wothout a off day. Finally, I found out how selfish i was. I was wedded to my own opinion and nothing could change me.

everyday my experience and knowledge was enhanced and i learn more about myself. I am not worried about that I dont know everything about myself, as i get older, i will figure it out.

Find happiness when I change to new Experiences

I fine happiness when I change to new experiences. Lots of new performances went on from late March, such as had dinner in friends' apartment as well as made new friends, BBQ, and group meeting with my old friends from elementary school, etc. They were the wonderful new experiences, and I gained tremendous benefits from them.

First of all, I was invited by my classmates to have a dinner, because they just moved to the new apartment, and they wanted to make more friends in the United States(they are all international students). We went to Chinese Supermarket bought some foods, then we cooked by ourselves. as soon all of our classmates came, we had all our delicious food already. During the dinner, we talked about our different country's tranditions and habbies. It was really interesting and funny. Afrer the dinner, we played a game called true or dare, which was recommoned by me, hehe. I taught them how to play(basically it is about the person who was been chose whether to answer people's tough question or you choose to act some crazy behavior). Everyone was extraordinary happy and excited. Dispite we were in same class for about one semester, we don't even know the name of them. From this experience, we knew each other so much, and became close friends.

Secondary, another great experience was BBQ. We were invited by our classmate named Nancy. Here I want to strongly introcude my friend Nancy. I don't know how old is she, but she told me that she has 6 grandchildren. Everybody asked her why does she still go to school, it is unusual. her answer inpressed me:"is it better stay at home, face the wall? or is it better go to school learn some new stuffs?" Chinese people always say:"it is never too old to learn". She demonsrates this point. At her house, we were intensive felt that Nancy has such a perfect family. We were keenly envy. From this experience, I promised to myself, If I have chance, I will make my life as perfect as Nancy, and make my mind as young as her when I get old.

The third important experience was that I had a group meeting with my elementary school friends. I havn't seen them until I graduated from elementary school. Luckily we still connect with each other often. When I saw them, everything looks different. Their face looks different, their mind looks different, especially their behaviors are so different. We talked about our foolish behaviors when we were little, and we talked about our plans and future. One of my friends showed us the pictures we took when we were little, it was really funny and cute. We didn't do lots things, but we all felt so exhilarated, I dont know why, just happy.

I fine happiness because I enhance myself everyday and I dont feel like I waste time. Changing is like an enzyme that make you to be more mature. All the changes, good or bad, are the good chances for human to reflect upon the past and meditate upon the present and envision about the future. I believe I can have a smooth shift given I am a person with aspirations, and I commitment will be chastened from the experiences. I am also able to navigate, to steer, to receive and to give on my journey ahead, and have an enjoyable time with the new people and new environment.

Friendship

Friendship is the most wonderful relationship that everyone can have. Idenally a friend is a person who offers, trust, love and respect and will never leave or betray us. Friends can also tell harsh truths when they must be told. You probably say that there are a lot of friends in my life, we hand out together, talk a lot and share happiness. etc. However, how many true friend do you have in you life? the Hebrew saying."who finds a faithful friend, finds a treature."

For me my friends are part of my family, I trust my true friend as much as I just my closest family members. My best friend Tiffany and I have been together since we both were born. Our family's had made our relationship so strong that we were more like sisters than friends, I have always trusted her because she was the only one of my age whom I used to associate with quiet often. We know each other wothout saying any works.

I remember that when I was in middle school, we were in different school, but they are near. One time I had an accident by roll skating. One of my legs was broken and hurt; I couldn't walk for a month. During that time, she picked me up everyday by bike, and brought me too see the doctor. She never gave up, even though it was a heavy raining day, or her friends wanted to hand out with her, or she had a lot of homeworks to do. This episode gave me the inner strength that she is my best friend in my life.

A ture friend is a treature in your life. No one can success without a ture friend. Once you find a ture friend, you must love, trust, respect and faithful. These are the basic requirements to maintain your friendship. The Nigerian Provern said: "Hold your friend with both your hands."

My Intricate Feeling

Today I walked by the St.John's church, my mind became so intricate all of the a sudden: happy, upset, angry, self-contradictious, worried, heaviness and contend, etc.

I felt happy because the boy I cruch on who wants me to be his girlfriend,haha. But i need to test out him more,because I don't want him to play me as a toy. Another reason I felt happy because my cousins came to the USA couple days ago, their father missed them so much and he has waited for the visa for many years.

I felt upset, disoppint and angry with my sister's boyfriend. We went to "East Dynasty" on Flushing yesterday, because my cousins just moved here, and my sister and me invited them to have a big dinner. During the dinner, one of my friend just talked too much and he speaked with vernacular, but my sister's boyfriend didn't understand any. Then he became so mad and angry and talked to my friend:"please don't say something that is nonsense" with really mad tone. Suddendly we got so embarrassed. We don't understand why he acted like that. A few minutes later, my sister and him left. luckily we still had a nice dinner. But I still felt bad when I went back to my dorm. I think everyone should treat one another with manner and courtesy, especially in this special situation. I feltl so sorry for my cousins because this was the first time they had dinner with me in the USA.

I also feel self-contradictious with my major. I am taking 2 economic classes this semaster. I got 87 on my history of western economics class, but I only got 68 on the Microeconomics class. I don't know if I am good at business field, and I do't know weather to choose accounting as my major.

I worried about my GPA, I worried about my parents' business, and I worried about my sister and her boyfriend's relationship. I don't know if they are really fit each other.

I feel burden because there are a lot of homeworks, my English still limit, and my mom always wants me have a good grade.

Dispite there are a lot of intracate feels on my mind, but I still feel contend somehow. I know I am lucky because all my family are supporting me, my friends are all around me when I have problem, I have chance to get higher education and I never complain to GOD.

This complicated mind led me to the memory of my high school life. I remembered when I was in 11th grade, in the end of April. There were tons of things going on. April is the season for badminton, it is my most intresting sport in my life. It always makes me feel confidence when I play badminton. There were a lot of competions during that period. But April was also the time for taking SAT. I took the courses for SAT extra help class after school, it was mandetory thing I need to do; April is also the busiest season for my parents' business, and at that time, my parents had no enough workers to do the job, then my parents asked me to work some hours after school, and i also took drive license class during that time, etc. As so many things were going on, can you image how did I solve all the problems. Actually I didn't solve all the problems because I didn't go to the badminton match, and I cancelled my drive lessons. People always face tradeoff. "oppotunity cost" is the most impression words in my mind when I took econimic course, that means if you want something you like, you have to give up something else you like. Chinese people said:"you cannot have fish and bear paw at once." for instance If you want to have a good grade, you'd better put lots of effors on it, and you gotta reduce the rate of watching TV and talk/chat with your friends.

Even though there are a lots of challenge things in my life, I think I have the ability to solve them. I think the most challenge thing is to make chioce, but it's the way of life and it's the way to make you grow up. I know everthing is going to be better finally. Chinese leader MaoZeDong said:"Nothing is too hard to achieve, if you willing to climb."

Good mood, Happy day.

Wednesday, i just done my midterm test, it was the history of economic, it's a tough course, I was so happy that I knew how to do all the questions and esssays . So I went to flushing yesterday with my sister and her boyfriend to celebrate it. we went to " Little chilly" restaurant. OMG, the food is so spicy, but I love it.

After that, we went to singing club, I like to sing, but nobody wants to hear my voice, so I set their for whole night, sigh!!!we went home at like 2 o'clock. I didn't go back to my dorm, coz, I have no class on thursday. hehehe~

Today, I went to my younger sister's college, it's QCC, it's nice school though, I made a friend with a taiwanese girl, she is nice and beautiful. At about 11 o'cliock, my sister and I went to the GYM play badminton, I had a competition with the coach, he is too nice, but i beat him. hah~

After that, we went to a Kerea restaurant, this was the first time I ate Korea food, actually i dont like it, coz i don't used to it, so i just ate little bit. Then I went to my sister's boyfriend's physics class. It was intresting, everyone is nice to me, and ask me the differences of my st.johns physics class.

We went back to Flushing after that, we went to Macy and Old Navy for shooping, but we don't really like it. So we decided to go to Queens Mall tomorrow. Thanks God I just have one morning class tomorrow. I am going back home on Friday night for a week spring break. I am so happy.

story of my parents

Right now i want to share a story with you, coz i feel that i have nothing to write in my blog, but i have to.hehe

Two days ago, I went home(I go home every weekend to do my job as a waitree in my parents' restaurant), my mom asked me if i have a boyfriend, then she told me do not have a "foreign" boyfriend, because she said it is hard to live with someone who has totally different background. actually i do agree her, but somehow I argued with her. i dont know why, but i still do.

After that, i asked my mother how my daddy and her got married, her story is pretty cute and funny. She Said that after my father graduated from high school, my grandpa wanted my father to get marry, then he had a blind dating with my mother, when my father saw my mother first sight, he loves my mother, then he keep bothering her. one day, my dad told my mom that he can build a big house for my mom if she can marry him. But my mom was so poor back then, her family needed the money, then my grandma forced my mom to marry my dad, and my mom cried for a week, but you have no power to change it back then. They got alone very well until they had me. before that, they argued all the time, sometimes even fighting with each other. haha sometime married by coersion is not always bad thing.

New Year, New Hope

During the Chinese New Year, i was so happy. i had 2 parties during the holiday. One is my own family party, my family and my relative gathered together had a big New Year dinner and watch new year show; on the other hand i also had a party with my friends on the next day, we went to flushing and had a big dinner. Also we went to the club for dancing, i was so happy.

My father just opened a chinese restaurant during the chinese new year vacation which mean I was working there during those days. So, i will going to work there after school and weekend. In 2006, I was planning to go back to China in next year which is Summer in 2007. However, I think it is impossible that i can back during the summer in this year. I know when my father opens restaurant, i will be no freedom. Anyway, even though i don't like my father opens restaurant, but he already decided to do it and we will try our best to do more better on this restaurant.

I hope my restaurant will be more successful. And i hope my life will be better. New Year, New Hope.

First time snowing this year~

Wednesday(2/14/07) was the the first time i saw snow this year. The road was slippery and whole lot of accidents occured on the I-495 high way. I saw a lot of nice cars(benz,acura,sudi,and toyota..) spin outta control, this site wasn't pretty but it was really funny to see how cars get stuck on the side road. Most because they were driving too fast under this bad weather condition. It's unusually that we had a first snow on February in NY. It'a probaly gonna snow again tomorrow. I really hope to see snow this winter. I can't explain why but I just do. Just staring at those millions of white snow flakes showered down on us, bring me back warm childhood memories also make me think of Chinese New Year we once shared. It's almost coming up, i wish everybody have nice mood everyday during 2007, And i hope everyone has their dream comes ture.

Useful Broadway Show

I remember when i just came to the USA, i went to a broadway show, i fotgot the name of the show,because i had no idea what does the show about, only thing that i remember was that it must be a humour show,because everybody was laughing. I felt so infamous that i cannot understand English and i cannot communicate with American people. I felt so embarrassed and i swear i will never go to the show.

Two days ago, I went to the broadway show as a course requirement, the show called "the Color Purple". I still don't understand every words they talked about, but i understood mostly. I felt so happy that I have enhanced my English. and I would never feel embarrassed.

Anyway, it's a great show. For me, it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. I learned a lot from this show. Courage, redemption, love and hope. Everytime I found something that is good, I want to share with someone, I want to share it with as many people as possible. I know when you watch this show, you will be enlightened as well as entertained and perheps it will become a powerful force in your own life.

i want my life to be different

I'm in dorm right now
planning on working out today

there is a game the GYM

can't type in chinese....
school is boring
I really won't be in school
if I didn't dislike my job this much
there are lots of things going on in everyone's life
I don't see anything happen in mine...
heh...
I guess it's somewhat a good thing
I have totally change my plan for my future
I no longer want to be an accountant anymore
I want to go back to china someday

I've learn alot about china lately
I still don't like china like before
but, for some reason
I want to go back
I guess I want to live in somewhere different
I'm so sick and tired of my life now

I've been live the same life(or live?) for the past 3 yrs
I mean, the excat same life...
do you think you'll get tired of it if you have to live the same life?